The Internet ruined my day

Hello Everyone,

I have had an awful day. Something happened to me this morning - and after that - nothing could have made me feel better.

I believe in a free Internet - I really do - but I also believe that if we are going to have this; there has to be a sense of personal responsibility and censorship. I would also hope that if some sicko was going to fill up the internet with their garbage - that they would hide it so thoroughly that someone like me - who is just browsing for the news of the day over a cup of tea - could somehow avoid it. I AM APPALED.

To continue my story; so there I was - only awake for about 20 minutes. Sipping on my delicous cup of organic Ceylon orange pekoe tea -which by the way is delicious- . I decided to open my computer and do some searching for the days news. I was hoping that I could get some kind of preview of the inaugeration. I must have clicked a wrong link or something, because after some innocent browsing (I honestly don't know how it happened) there on my computer screen was one of the most horrific images I had ever seen. I cannot even classify it. Below I have provided a link for those of you who DO NOT have weak stomachs. I'm giving this link out, because after realizing that images like this are available on the internet - I am seriously considering calling my internet provider and disconnecting my service. I hope that you also have a new outlook on this vast source of evil and "mind cancer" called... The Internet.

*WARNING - NOT FOR SENSITIVE VIEWERS*

Freak Accident

You all know that I like to do things that test the boundaries of possibility. Daily I indulge in life threatening exercises simply because I can; it gives me a huge rush to know that at any moment I could submit to peril - and die as a result of my extreme and reckless behavior. This morning, that almost happened. As I was juggling a few flaming chainsaws one slipped and almost left me a one armed man. As you can see from the picture on the upper right hand corner, the carnage left behind is devastating. Although my life may never be the same, and it will probably take months and years to rehabilitate - this will not interfere with who I am. I WILL return to my daring and dangerous ways... Some day.

My Arctic Adventure

Hello Everyone,

I just got back from my annual trip to the northern most parts of Canada! Everytime I go I find an excuse to go see some polar bears!!! In this shot you can see me just kinda hangin' out with them - but soon after this - I was able to strap on the saddle and go for a nice trot across some totally awesome tundra! I already miss it there. Although, when I woke up this morning it was -38˚! As you can see I'm so extreme that I dont even wear clothes when I go. I actually put these shorts on just for this picture.

My pet-friend Mufasa

Hi Everybody!

Most of you are probably already aware that I have a pet lion. For those of you who were not aware of this, his name is Mufasa and him and I are in-seperable. I knew that I wanted a pet friend - and since everything I do is extreme - a lion was of course the only choice. He is relatively tame; although he doesn't like to come inside and he bites people.

Look Mom, I'm working for the Government!

Hi Everybody!

I realize that this is my 2nd post for the day, but I have some news that I just can't hold back anymore! I think that Barack Obama has selected me for some sort of cabinet level appointment!!! I'm pretty sure of this! Can you imagine, me working for the government??!! How exciting. I have no idea what kind of policies I will put in place. Also, I suppose that we will have to move to D.C. to make things more convenient for our family; or else we will never see each other. I wonder if he knows I voted for John McCain? Ok, well I will keep you all posted as I find out more information.

These are the socks I wore today!

I know what your all thinking...

"So you have a blog now, where are the socks?" Well, here you are. These are the actual socks that I wore ALL DAY! They were brand new like 2 years ago. Actually, I'm not sure because I have bought several batches of these socks throughout the last several years. These could be anywhere from 3 years old to 1 year old. I have a particularly difficult time matching my socks, even though they all look just like this. Some of them are medium size and some are large size. Also, they have all been washed a different # of times leaving them basically all different sizes. I am very serious about my socks matching and being just the same size. I don't care if the stains match, but they should at least be of similar size and vintage.

The Greatest Story of All

So anyway, I'm a blogger now...


I understand completely that those of you that read my blog will undoubtedly be drawn in as if hypnotized. My words are powerful, and interesting. I promise to be a good steward of your psyche and will only brainwash you with the best of intentions...

And yes, I'm serious.

This is The Greatest Story of All. Welcome to my Blog.

-Christian